he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
