its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
