Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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