I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
