His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
