I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
