So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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