I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
