No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
