you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
