I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
