For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
