question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
