honey bunches of taint.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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