cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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