You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
