I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
