What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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