Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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