Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
