Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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