youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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