I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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