im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
