Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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