I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
