Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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