how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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