Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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