Apparently you make a good broom.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.