he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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