You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!