I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
