I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
