Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
