I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize