I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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