I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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