I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
