dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
