I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
