He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
