Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
