i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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