Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
