do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
