2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
pray to the hookup gods
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
