I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
