so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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