i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
