and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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