Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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