I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
