I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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