you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
