if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
