we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't turn off my feet"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
