So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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