he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
