wanna go halves on a baby?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.