Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"

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(801): I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby" http://tfl.nu/pwve

Replies (16) Good night (1449) Bad night (3625)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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(401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw

Replies (20) Good night (4524) Bad night (1288)
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(410): View more from Maryland

i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.

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(410): i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/befb

Replies (21) Good night (6515) Bad night (1105)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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(757): Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town http://tfl.nu/mvuo

Replies (39) Good night (6899) Bad night (990)
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(734): View more from Michigan

wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer

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(734): wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer http://tfl.nu/eltm

Replies (30) Good night (5856) Bad night (838)
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(917): View more from New York City

Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing

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(917): Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing http://tfl.nu/ny0i

Replies (8) Good night (989) Bad night (4341)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....

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(931): Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me.... http://tfl.nu/xfhz

Replies (11) Good night (1620) Bad night (3714)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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(843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that http://tfl.nu/xola

Replies (7) Good night (2745) Bad night (792)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.

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(508): I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver. http://tfl.nu/smcq

Replies (1) Good night (1409) Bad night (563)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother

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(201): I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother http://tfl.nu/58tn

Replies (0) Good night (1491) Bad night (959)
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(631): View more from New York

I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.

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(631): I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7540

Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (504)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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(405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (501)
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(913): View more from Kansas

This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.

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(913): This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for. http://tfl.nu/vkxq

Replies (4) Good night (861) Bad night (472)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years

(614): View more from Ohio

Not as covert as you thought huh?

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(740): Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years (614): Not as covert as you thought huh? http://tfl.nu/u7wd

Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (646)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.

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(978): He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/9qaw

Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (374)

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