If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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