Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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