if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
